Jake Jefferson, lame/lazy-ass-poster on this blog, and 1/2 of Climber has got a track on the new Stussy x Turntable Lab compilation that BluJemz helped put together. EggFooYoung's also got a beat on it.
Deep in the Amazon jungle, one of the Brazil's last uncontacted indigenous tribes has been photographed from the air, to prove its existence.
Let me sum up the movie as no other reviewer has:
Been through 3 computers in the last 4 days; trying to get situated before the Santogold tour. Now my crates aren't showing up, and apparently the latest Serato update isn't 'approved' for Mac OS 10.5.3, etc, etc.
Also, felt like the blog needed a breather to soak up all that is/was Dan's agggggrrroo-post. Bad day chum?!
Well, let's move things forward.
Looks like Lily Allen's on the same diet I am.
Okay, fat chicks, please stop requesting Trina's new song 'Single Again'. You're not single again, you just got ass raped in the Lounge bathroom, again. That is not a relationship. That is a business transaction for another Long Island date rape Tea. No, I don't have it, will never have it. When you ask why, I really want to puke on your over exposed cleavage, but I also want to keep my job so I'll just tell you that i forgot to download it. WHUPS! I FORGOT TO DOWNLOAD IT....on your fucking face. Get a life. And please come back and spend your minimum wage Burger King paycheck.
Also, middle aged guys with a gut and a goatee, please don't ask me for some 'breakdance, y'know, breakdance...like wikki wikki wikki n shit'. No, I don't know...I mean, I do, but I'm playing a solid set of roots... music I actually don't mind and I'm forgetting where I am for 10 minutes you fuck. Sorry, I mean, "Oh yeah, I'll get that right on".
Breakdance your ass off you emotionally crippled excuse for a human being with a life.
Speaking of backbreaking, don't make a request and tell me you're going to give me 10 bucks to play it and then give me 7. Fuck sake, 7 is not 10. Thank you Miami-Dade school system for manufacturing some of the most impressive reasons to keep abortion legal. Jesus saves, etc.
Still on breakdancing...
Sunday Andy Smith from Portishead played at the Lounge. Who cares. I checked out about 5 minutes of 'UK breakbeat' after I was forced to get off of my chair (in my underwear, watching MMA eating a salad) in order to fix a sound issue.
Amatuer titbag DJ says "I can't get no sound in the headphones".
Look, next time, stay home and figure out how a MOTHERFUCKING DJ mixer works. Turntables plug into the PHONO jacks. They have a different IMPEDANCE than line levels. You'll actually get a signal and I won't have to get off of my ass and bring an extra turntable from my set up because you think one is acting 'sticky'. Jesus, you can't DJ your way out of an HIV positive cat's ass. STAY HOME AND PRACTICE. This goes for all of you wack ass suck-n-fuck cociane whore DJ's...pretty much 98.9% of Miami....Stay home, do yourself a favor.
Ah, whatever. This city wouldn't know quality unless it was served with free drinks and syphilis. Then it'd be something familiar.
.
and still with the breakdancing...
If you're gonna have a 'rapper' 'band'', please leave Kenny G and the Jamsters out of it. If I wanted to hear smooth jazz improvised poorly with 'yo, here we go, we're in the flow and you know that we blow, yiggidy yoyoyo' I'd put on an US3 record and send more hate mail to Blue Note.
Also, to the guys in the parking lot, that was the best fight I've seen, EVER!!! seriously, it made me sick to my stomach. Foot stomp to the face? check. Knee to the head? check (multiple) Full force hip toss? check. Piledriver onto asphalt? oh yes. And that was just the first minute. But a word to the guy that caught the worst (not that there was a best)...try not saying 'Is that all you got?' over and over. That's why you got choked out in the end and had to have the fight stopped while you tried to walk away and got melon punched over and over...You were out of gas from talking so much. But really, kudo's for the broken bones, concussion's, split faces and brain damage. Very entertaining. When you asked 'how did I do, did I win...' I wasn't sure if you meant in life or the fight. Either way, I don't think there were any winners there. Good luck with that long term memory loss.
See you in the club. PLUR.
Thursday - 3:12 A.M.
Drink spills fully on my laptop.
3:12:05
Jump into action like Batman on speed.
Grab towel.
Wipe furiously.
3:13:48
Computer operates fine. Consider getting back on decks, but opt out.
Friday - 1:36 P.M.
Turning on the computer, I notice that the mouse works fine, yet the keyboard merely teases me. First it gives me numbers when I'm on letters, then it gives me crazy symbols, then it just stops . . . sometimes.
Saturday - 4:40 P.M.
Mac genius doesn't notice water-damage; computer is under warranty, suggests a replacement which will take 5-7 days.
I don't have 5-7 open/free days that I can wait for a Mac engineer to notice the liquid residue, void my warranty, mail back the laptop asking for $800; or hope that they won't notice.
So I bought a USB keyboard. Aside from impractically, so far so good.
I'm officially coining the phrase 'Seratoitis'. I've been on a mission to trim the fat from my digital collection that's been amassing for the past year plus since making the official switch to digital disc jockey from vinyl hold out. HOLY SHIT. I have A LOT OF C-R-A-P....and it gets in the way. So far I've gotten rid of at least 7 gigs of Fatman Scoop edits, off key mash ups, poor quality edits, half baked remixes, low bit rate stuff, etc. I didn't even know I had Deicide on my drive until Monday's reggae night when I started playing a half hour Marley live set at four in the morning and did my usual 'check for strange stuff' run. That started it all. I've been on a mission ever since to trim trim trim. I've noticed that I'm addicted to downloading much the same way I was to vinyl digging. Shit, I just deleted the shitty track I forgot I was listening to while I typed that last sentence...
Anyway, it's like going record digging, except everything is free...I'm having to learn to take breaks, really listen to everything and filter filter filter.
Anyone wanna buy some used MP3's?
So when a TV bobblehead known as Don Imus made his "...nappy-headed hoes" comment a couple days/months/years(?) back Doormouse was quick to react and grabbed the sample and plugged it into this *cough* 'bmore-ish' song.
It was obviously more of a joke than anything, and after playing it a for a couple weeks at Purdy Lounge, the moment had passed . . . I thought.
Right around that very moment, I get hit up on AIM from . . . um, John Doe, who is raving/laughing about a new song Tittsworth did. And Voila, it was a Don-Imus-Bmore-Ooof-'song'. Now, little did the blog-world know, Doormouse's song pretty much ruled vs. Jesse's, and it was 'out' at least two weeks earlier. Yet, Titts' song went on to further propel Jesse up in the blogosphere, garnering more than a thousand downloads; whereas Dan's pretty much just annoyed those at Purdy Lounge.
What's the point of this story?
Everyday I'm introduced to things that make me realize there is a whole world out there that i know nothing about....
WHO KNEW?
"Faygo is a super cheap soda-pop beverage, whose homequarters rest in Detroit, Michigan. The Insane Clown Posse have been spraying Faygo all over the Juggalos at live shows for what seems an eternity but in reality only goes back a few years ago. I.C.P. drank the Faygo soda-pop when they were kids because it was cheap, and there was so many different refreshing flavors and a varieties to choose from. One day at an I.C.P. concert, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope were doing synchronized dance steps and Shaggs fucked up, so J grabbed a two liter of Faygo and bashed it over Shaggy's head, and thus the war began. Juggalos everywhere were on stage throwing Faygo, gettin' live. And so from then on, at every Insane Clown Posse concert, Faygo is thrown all over the willing crowd, and everybody seems to enjoy it, go nuts, and have just a straight up fresh time. That is the history of how the Insane Clown Posse and Faygo cola are connected."
