That's About Right

Ultimate Surrender

This looks like fun...
God, are you there? It's me, Doormouse.
Miami, you have eaten my musical soul. Sucked it dry, spit it out. I am not discouraged. Everything has come full circle. Club land is almost 100% a thing of the past, knock on wood. I am able to purchase music and enjoy it. I am able to live life and wake up in the morning with a purpose. Scene status is reserved for those who can power clean 225 for reps and touch a 20 foot ceiling without using feet.
You can match beats? WOW! You can stay awake get trashed AND match beats? WOW & WOWER! You can do all of the above and give enough Iron Grip Hand Jobs (TM) to land a few gigs? (kneels and bows). Hey, do you use Serato, play the same hitz as Jimmy and Rico but have the wear with all to hang out longer and listen to some guy with a hat tell you about his big plans for the next 'party'?

To make things easier and to remind myself that easy cash is hooker money, here is a gem from the past that hasn't seen the light of day for a couple of years....take a deep breath now.

Okay, fat chicks, please stop requesting Trina's new song 'Single Again'. You're not single again, you just got ass raped in the Lounge bathroom, again. That is not a relationship. That is a business transaction for another Long Island date rape Tea. No, I don't have it, will never have it. When you ask why, I really want to puke on your over exposed cleavage, but I also want to keep my job so I'll just tell you that i forgot to download it. WHUPS! I FORGOT TO DOWNLOAD IT....on your fucking face. Get a life. And please come back and spend your minimum wage Burger King paycheck.
Also, middle aged guys with a gut and a goatee, please don't ask me for some 'breakdance, y'know, breakdance...like wikki wikki wikki n shit'. No, I don't know...I mean, I do, but I'm playing a solid set of roots... music I actually don't mind and I'm forgetting where I am for 10 minutes you fuck. Sorry, I mean, "Oh yeah, I'll get that right on".Breakdance your ass off you crippled excuse for a human being with a life.Speaking of backbreaking, don't make a request and tell me you're going to give me 10 bucks to play it and then give me 7. Fuck sake, 7 is not 10. Thank you Miami-Dade school system for manufacturing some of the most impressive reasons to keep abortion legal. Jesus saves, etc.
Still on breakdancing...Sunday Andy Smith from Portishead played at the Lounge. Who cares. I checked out about 5 minutes of 'UK breakbeat' after I was forced to get off of my chair (in my underwear, watching MMA eating a salad) in order to fix a sound issue. "I can't get no sound in the headphones". Look, next time, stay home and figure out how a MOTHERFUCKING DJ mixer works. Turntables plug into the PHONO jacks. They have a different IMPEDANCE than line levels. You'll actually get a signal and I won't have to get off of my ass and bring an extra turntable from my set up because you think one is acting 'sticky'. Jesus, you can't DJ your way out of an HIV positive cat's ass. STAY HOME AND PRACTICE. This goes for all of you wack ass suck-n-fuck cociane whore DJ's...pretty much 98.9% of Miami....Stay home, do yourself a favor.
Ah, whatever. This city wouldn't know quality unless it was served with free drinks and syphilis. Then it'd be something familiar.
...and still with the breakdancing...
If you're gonna have a 'rapper' 'band'', please leave Kenny G and the Jamsters out of it. If I wanted to hear smooth jazz improvised poorly with 'yo, here we go, we're in the flow and you know that we blow, yiggidy yoyoyo' I'd put on an US3 record and send more hate mail to Blue Note.
Also, to the guys in the parking lot, that was the best fight I've seen, EVER!!! seriously, it made me sick to my stomach. Foot stomp to the face? check. Knee to the head? check (multiple) Full force hip toss? check. Piledriver onto asphalt? oh yes. And that was just the first minute. But a word to the guy that caught the worst (not that there was a best)...try not saying 'Is that all you got?' over and over. That's why you got choked out in the end and had to have the fight stopped while you tried to walk away and got melon punched over and over...You were out of gas from talking so much. But really, kudo's for the broken bones, concussion's, split faces and brain damage. Very entertaining. When you asked 'how did I do, did I win...' I wasn't sure if you meant in life or the fight. Either way, I don't think there were any winners there. Good luck with that long term memory loss.I'm gonna go rest all day and race tomorrow.
See you in the club.

Good to see you yesterday Andrew & Jake. Swing in anytime.

Yeah?!? Yeah.

"This is a place where the very rich go to party within a few miles of some of the poorest people in America. It is a city where political corruption has become a way of life"

Not quite sure about the headline, but an interesting article from The Guardian on what promises to be an even more interesting book which looks at the city that I know as the "Sunny Place For Shady People™"

Somewhat along these lines, I just got home from djing at Klutch, where, contrary to a number of online reports, some of the Jersey Shore cast showed up. Pauly D, The Situation and the Other Guy Who Isn't The Buff One [sadly?! I am only a little familiar w/ the show], all rocked out till closing time. As its 6am, I won't go into a rambling diatribe about the state of affairs when chants of "Fist Pump!" are answered by the trio and launch the crowd into such a ridiculous frenzy that people didn't give a second thought to spraying their $1500 bottles of Veuve Clicquot all over the club, crowd and my computer...

Eh, I'm tired.

Speaking of being tired, I partly blame the cool event that Sweat Records put together earlier today that I had the pleasure to play [to shoppers and a 'captive' crowd of ~12 people sitting down on the couches staring -- I haven't done an in-store in a little over a year now, and I don't miss the relative awkwardness at all], after LeSpam and just before ANR took the stage. I played a bunch of randomness including the criminally still unreleased Amanda Blank cover of PJ Harvey's "Driving" (Devlin looking smart in the YouTube), new LCD track "Home", and some other things that happened to catch my eye on the *gasp* laptop screen. *oof*...

Yeah that's right, I'm the dude who shows up to play at a record store's 5-year anniversary party which also happened to fall on Record Store Day 2010, looking for a Serato setup. I suppose that's good enough a point on said subject (the subject being me ,'sharp-as-a-razor', not the death of record stores.

Anyways, there's a 3-part Q&A series w/ Lolo on the Miami Herald's site.

Also, props to Dan aka Doormouse, who had an opening celebration today for his new gym space, 305 Crossfit (59th & NE 4th Ave). Apparently he's too buff to write on this site anymore, but his MySpace comments to himself are none the less for it. Eh...

Sedat the Turkish Avenger - Fist Funk

Live at Liv

Josh n Curt of Flosstradamus are gonna be in town today to dj with me at Liv tonight. Do it.

Walter Meego - Romantic (Flosstradamus Remix)

EDIT: For anybody that attended, I think you'll agree that the boys started off mad rough on Wednesday. At ~1am I left em 'round the 125bpm world, and they came on w/ some 11pm openers. Hypnotize anybody? Then they took the fateful step into a reggae set -- side note to anyone who plans/hopes/will play/attend Liv, they don't do reggae. Not even a little. -- which put them about one song away (cue text msgs flying all around and undergarments knotting up) from getting yanked (15 minutes into their set). Anyways, after rationalizing, I got ushered into dropping a 'subtle' hint, and thankfully they took note and proceeded to rock the club. Glad that they were not added to the Liv graveyard.

micheal gordon peterson

AKA CHARLES BRONSON

apparently he's britains most violent prisoner. And theres a movie about him called bronson which if you have Netflix you can watch it on your laptop.

READY


go.

It also has a really sweet soundtrack.



there's also references to death wish in this movie, which i think i will watch next.

Bad Ass Books

10 Awesome Choose Your Own Adventure Books

via Cavalcade of Awesome

down by the beach boiii

VS

awesome.


best part is the kid who is NOT singing.


beach house- zebra
(found via through the webs)

Chips And Dip

I want him at the next Contrapalooza

Man, I dunno what the hell is going on right now. I was surfing through the YouTubes to find some clips of people dancing to DJ Chipman's "Kick Back", and then somehow ended up on this lonely guy's clip.

Then naturally I played the clip while also streaming the Chipman song below. Kinda difficult to time correctly, dancing guy starts a couple seconds early, but really it doesn't matter. Oh man, I need to go to sleep.

DJ Chipman - Kick Back

For those that are unfamiliar w/ Chipman, his tracks are Miami pirate radio staples! The Wu-Tang, Peanut Butter Jelly, and the Eamon remix called Beam Ahh, are all his works. To do the above song, or anything else you may find (look here), Miami justice be sure to play it +16 or on 45. Yeah that's right, the closer itis to 200bpm!!! the better. See below:

Almost an A.C.T. battle goin down around the 3min mark.

Shouts to the Fully Fitted Family; ya'll need to update your blog with things other than an old Pase Rock track from 2008! For those that don't have the track, go to their blog and download it -- XXXchange on the production!

The DMCA

In case you haven't seen/heard it, here's the single off the ex-Dust Brothers' new album. Most all other blogs seem to be posting a radio rip off of Pete Tong's BBC program, but i've gone one step...to the east, and found a different rip of better quality -- in fact its play-outtable(?!) minus the last 10 seconds. Also up is an older track of theirs that you should add to your library if you don't have it already. Upon first listen, their new single reminded me of Juan Maclean's extended live version of Happy House (search the blog for that version somewhere here already uploaded; clocks in at over 21 minutes) mixed with Implog's Holland Tunnel Dive (I wish I hadn't traded that record away), both because of the sounds/format of the song, but also because if you're going to play this out - you've really got to commit to the whole 11 minutes of this thing.

Side note about Mr. Tong: In the Philippines he gave me one of his T-shirts which was designed by Christian Audigier. I completely forgot it in the green room that night, and regret not having it now. Is that important? No. But neither is keeping up w/ KFC's menu, but damn would I try the Double Down, and could use a nice shirt to wipe my fingers off after eating that damn delicious devil!

You know you want it!

So because of the DMCA complaint a couple days ago, gon go ahead and rename these in hopes of missing whatever bot picked up on us. Strangely, it makes me feel as if this blog is somewhat official.

K.emikAl Bros. - E.scape V.ELO.city


K.emikAl Bros. - Battle Weapon 8

*Also, for your own ease of use, I've gone ahead and added the 'tunes' tag to most of my posts that have a track on it just in case you only come here for music rather than witty banter, occasional honesty and rare gentle chuckles.

that guy

i remember in 1996 when i bought my first few records and wrote a letter to this guy.

He actually wrote back and sent along with his letter (which was pretty interesting), a mix tape (when people used tapes). This was around the time when he and (i think) Bass junkie started breakin' records. I became obssesed with the labels releases and could not help but buying the first 10 releases. This was at $10 a pop for an import, 10$ for 3 songs sheesh maybe 4 if you're lucky.
what a time.

dmx krew- good ol daze @320 rippy rip

Its Whats For Dinner

*Stomach growling* > "...eeek!*

INXS - Taste It (Acapella)

Round the Outside

Malcolm McLaren

January 22, 1946 – April 8, 2010

World's Famous Supreme Team - Hey DJ (Extended Instrumental)

Can we get a kickball game goin on?

I know you're down.

no its like this really

Times like this you need to unwind and relax, and not spend $10 on a sandwich.

Instead invest on some local greens and listen to this.




funkadelic- atmosphere