Land Of The Bjork

I mean damn, just imagine if you were the bear.  

Aaawww.

You're on your last ounce of strength as you've had to swim through all sorts of deadly perils: Sharks nibbling you, waves crushing all around, and most importantly, you've had nothing to eat for days!  

Then . . . in the faint distance . . . after hours and hours of treacherous hell, you think . . . . maybe . . . "Is that land?!?"

The blood starts pushing your muscles harder and harder as your heart starts racing again with a newly rekindled vigor.  

"It is land!!  I made it!"

Once you're finally ashore, the relief sweeps over your body as if you were 8-years-old doing a cannonball in the pool on a hot summer's day.  

"Finally," you must have thought to yourself, "I made it!  I'm exhausted.  *Phew*  200 miles!  Wait'll I tell the guys back home, nobody's gonna believe it!  It's gotta be a new world record or something."  

As you look around this newfound terrain you realize, "Well shit, I am fucking H-U-N-G-R-Y!  Lemme look around for some food and see wha . . . oh fuck."

 

*BAM*

If you're into cute-bear hunting, you can watch the video of Bjork's minions killin the polar bear here.  

One Minute With Bjork

I don't remember who told me the story; in fact, I don't really remember the story very well, so I'll just go ahead with liberties.

Regardless, OMDL-some-of-the-time-blogger and man-about-asians, Induce, and ex-girlfriend Phi, were on South Beach casually taking an afternoon stroll down Ocean Drive during a past WMC.  When, out of the corner of their respective eyes, they spotted someone who they thought was Bjork walking towards them.

*Artist's rendering.

"OMG, is that?!"

"OMG, I think it is!"

"OMG!"

"OMG!!"

Phi, realizing the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity could very well walk right by her, blocks Bjork's path in order to tell her how great she thinks she is.  Communicating solely through emotion, Bjork immediately understood.  Induce stood awestruck as Bjork did one of her patented "i just cute farted" smiles, and then scuttled away to join the other dolphins in the ocean.

Oh, almost forgot.  After their encounter with Bjork the two start crying hysterically across the street from Wet Willie's on 8th.  Phi first, but then in consulation, Induce follows suit.  Realizing everyone is staring at them, Induce manages to usher the distraught girl away from the crowd.  

That last part is true.

Here's some "Making-of" footage for Bjork's new Wanderlust video.



and here's the video:

A 3d version is out as well, but I left my 3d glasses in I'm-Not-6-Yrs-Old-Land.

That said, a similar awestruck situation occurred to me when I was ~6 and saw Sgt. Slaughter at Dulles Airport.  Fucking Rad!