From Pharoahe's most recent LP.
Pharoahe Monch - Welcome To The Terrordome
Jake Jefferson, lame/lazy-ass-poster on this blog, and 1/2 of Climber has got a track on the new Stussy x Turntable Lab compilation that BluJemz helped put together. EggFooYoung's also got a beat on it.
Deep in the Amazon jungle, one of the Brazil's last uncontacted indigenous tribes has been photographed from the air, to prove its existence.
Let me sum up the movie as no other reviewer has:
Been through 3 computers in the last 4 days; trying to get situated before the Santogold tour. Now my crates aren't showing up, and apparently the latest Serato update isn't 'approved' for Mac OS 10.5.3, etc, etc.
Also, felt like the blog needed a breather to soak up all that is/was Dan's agggggrrroo-post. Bad day chum?!
Well, let's move things forward.
Looks like Lily Allen's on the same diet I am.
Okay, fat chicks, please stop requesting Trina's new song 'Single Again'. You're not single again, you just got ass raped in the Lounge bathroom, again. That is not a relationship. That is a business transaction for another Long Island date rape Tea. No, I don't have it, will never have it. When you ask why, I really want to puke on your over exposed cleavage, but I also want to keep my job so I'll just tell you that i forgot to download it. WHUPS! I FORGOT TO DOWNLOAD IT....on your fucking face. Get a life. And please come back and spend your minimum wage Burger King paycheck.
Also, middle aged guys with a gut and a goatee, please don't ask me for some 'breakdance, y'know, breakdance...like wikki wikki wikki n shit'. No, I don't know...I mean, I do, but I'm playing a solid set of roots... music I actually don't mind and I'm forgetting where I am for 10 minutes you fuck. Sorry, I mean, "Oh yeah, I'll get that right on".
Breakdance your ass off you emotionally crippled excuse for a human being with a life.
Speaking of backbreaking, don't make a request and tell me you're going to give me 10 bucks to play it and then give me 7. Fuck sake, 7 is not 10. Thank you Miami-Dade school system for manufacturing some of the most impressive reasons to keep abortion legal. Jesus saves, etc.
Still on breakdancing...
Sunday Andy Smith from Portishead played at the Lounge. Who cares. I checked out about 5 minutes of 'UK breakbeat' after I was forced to get off of my chair (in my underwear, watching MMA eating a salad) in order to fix a sound issue.
Amatuer titbag DJ says "I can't get no sound in the headphones".
Look, next time, stay home and figure out how a MOTHERFUCKING DJ mixer works. Turntables plug into the PHONO jacks. They have a different IMPEDANCE than line levels. You'll actually get a signal and I won't have to get off of my ass and bring an extra turntable from my set up because you think one is acting 'sticky'. Jesus, you can't DJ your way out of an HIV positive cat's ass. STAY HOME AND PRACTICE. This goes for all of you wack ass suck-n-fuck cociane whore DJ's...pretty much 98.9% of Miami....Stay home, do yourself a favor.
Ah, whatever. This city wouldn't know quality unless it was served with free drinks and syphilis. Then it'd be something familiar.
.
and still with the breakdancing...
If you're gonna have a 'rapper' 'band'', please leave Kenny G and the Jamsters out of it. If I wanted to hear smooth jazz improvised poorly with 'yo, here we go, we're in the flow and you know that we blow, yiggidy yoyoyo' I'd put on an US3 record and send more hate mail to Blue Note.
Also, to the guys in the parking lot, that was the best fight I've seen, EVER!!! seriously, it made me sick to my stomach. Foot stomp to the face? check. Knee to the head? check (multiple) Full force hip toss? check. Piledriver onto asphalt? oh yes. And that was just the first minute. But a word to the guy that caught the worst (not that there was a best)...try not saying 'Is that all you got?' over and over. That's why you got choked out in the end and had to have the fight stopped while you tried to walk away and got melon punched over and over...You were out of gas from talking so much. But really, kudo's for the broken bones, concussion's, split faces and brain damage. Very entertaining. When you asked 'how did I do, did I win...' I wasn't sure if you meant in life or the fight. Either way, I don't think there were any winners there. Good luck with that long term memory loss.
See you in the club. PLUR.
Thursday - 3:12 A.M.
Drink spills fully on my laptop.
3:12:05
Jump into action like Batman on speed.
Grab towel.
Wipe furiously.
3:13:48
Computer operates fine. Consider getting back on decks, but opt out.
Friday - 1:36 P.M.
Turning on the computer, I notice that the mouse works fine, yet the keyboard merely teases me. First it gives me numbers when I'm on letters, then it gives me crazy symbols, then it just stops . . . sometimes.
Saturday - 4:40 P.M.
Mac genius doesn't notice water-damage; computer is under warranty, suggests a replacement which will take 5-7 days.
I don't have 5-7 open/free days that I can wait for a Mac engineer to notice the liquid residue, void my warranty, mail back the laptop asking for $800; or hope that they won't notice.
So I bought a USB keyboard. Aside from impractically, so far so good.
I'm officially coining the phrase 'Seratoitis'. I've been on a mission to trim the fat from my digital collection that's been amassing for the past year plus since making the official switch to digital disc jockey from vinyl hold out. HOLY SHIT. I have A LOT OF C-R-A-P....and it gets in the way. So far I've gotten rid of at least 7 gigs of Fatman Scoop edits, off key mash ups, poor quality edits, half baked remixes, low bit rate stuff, etc. I didn't even know I had Deicide on my drive until Monday's reggae night when I started playing a half hour Marley live set at four in the morning and did my usual 'check for strange stuff' run. That started it all. I've been on a mission ever since to trim trim trim. I've noticed that I'm addicted to downloading much the same way I was to vinyl digging. Shit, I just deleted the shitty track I forgot I was listening to while I typed that last sentence...
Anyway, it's like going record digging, except everything is free...I'm having to learn to take breaks, really listen to everything and filter filter filter.
Anyone wanna buy some used MP3's?
So when a TV bobblehead known as Don Imus made his "...nappy-headed hoes" comment a couple days/months/years(?) back Doormouse was quick to react and grabbed the sample and plugged it into this *cough* 'bmore-ish' song.
It was obviously more of a joke than anything, and after playing it a for a couple weeks at Purdy Lounge, the moment had passed . . . I thought.
Right around that very moment, I get hit up on AIM from . . . um, John Doe, who is raving/laughing about a new song Tittsworth did. And Voila, it was a Don-Imus-Bmore-Ooof-'song'. Now, little did the blog-world know, Doormouse's song pretty much ruled vs. Jesse's, and it was 'out' at least two weeks earlier. Yet, Titts' song went on to further propel Jesse up in the blogosphere, garnering more than a thousand downloads; whereas Dan's pretty much just annoyed those at Purdy Lounge.
What's the point of this story?
Everyday I'm introduced to things that make me realize there is a whole world out there that i know nothing about....
WHO KNEW?
"Faygo is a super cheap soda-pop beverage, whose homequarters rest in Detroit, Michigan. The Insane Clown Posse have been spraying Faygo all over the Juggalos at live shows for what seems an eternity but in reality only goes back a few years ago. I.C.P. drank the Faygo soda-pop when they were kids because it was cheap, and there was so many different refreshing flavors and a varieties to choose from. One day at an I.C.P. concert, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope were doing synchronized dance steps and Shaggs fucked up, so J grabbed a two liter of Faygo and bashed it over Shaggy's head, and thus the war began. Juggalos everywhere were on stage throwing Faygo, gettin' live. And so from then on, at every Insane Clown Posse concert, Faygo is thrown all over the willing crowd, and everybody seems to enjoy it, go nuts, and have just a straight up fresh time. That is the history of how the Insane Clown Posse and Faygo cola are connected."
Biggest thing to come out of Norway since frozen fish -> Lene Alexandra - "My Boobs Are OK"
Best part is around the 2:00 mark.
So, here's my token WMC 2008 post, 2 months too late. Taken from my Blackberry BBM. The conversation starts right after Malibu had called me in a drunken/drugged frenzy spitting hot fire about how close to 10 people, including Switch, Mapei, Spank Rock and about 38 other hangers-ons, who want to come to my house at about 6am and record a track, which in reality, i knew would never get done. I also failed to notice what or who "The Truth" was and that it was in the form of one curly haired singer/rapper from Sweden named Mapei. I guess I just wasn't ready for that level of Hip-Hopiness coming from Malibu X ("This girl is THE TRUTH" and "This is SO Real" being two of my favorites) and it scarred me. Big up to all mentioned, it was a valiant effort and i still love you all.
The BBM conversation starts right as Xavier (or was it Contra) tells me he's gonna put Switch on the phone and I proceed to hang up on the guy (well, actually right before he could even get on the phone).
XBURT: Yo... That was Switch talking to you on Contra's phone. Not trying to
wake u but they want to hit the studio. Switch & Mapai.
XBURT: A couple friends. They want to lay this shit down.
Induce: I didn't talk to anybody but contra
Induce: We have 4 people sleeping
XBURT: Its all up to you
Induce: Studio can be used tomorrow during the day
XBURT: Basically switch is here and he and mapai want to lay some shit down
XBURT: werd....
XBURT: Saturday
XBURT: @ our BBQ
XBURT: This girl is the truth
Induce: Sometime other than 6am
XBURT: ??
XBURT: Werd
XBURT: No worries
XBURT: Damn mang
XBURT: 10 of us
Induce: Not
XBURT: Switch is honest to god looking for a studio
XBURT: Spank
XBURT: $m
XBURT: Mapai
XBURT: Ok
XBURT: But she's speaking some real shit right now
XBURT: And switch is mezmerized
Induce: Its really hard to fall asleep when you keep texting me
XBURT: Man
XBURT: Ahhh soorryy
XBURT: Fuck
XBURT: This is so real
XBURT: Just seems right
XBURT: Anyway I'm done
XBURT: Sorry
XBURT: Contra is going to call you last time for the night
Contra not only called me for the last time after that, but he proceeded to call me about 12 more times, which did nothing but piss me off even more, not only because I had been half asleep and woken up by this shit in the first place, but more because my finger was getting tired of pressing ignore on my phone.
*Future reference - If you want something like this to happen, make sure i'm with you when you are making these plans (at which time, i still might even shoot em down), or call me at say, 3pm. or pay me.
PS :: Quote for the road : "She's speaking some real shit right now"
Well, it's about a year later and we're all, "Soulja Boy who???" But his ol' girl has a brand new video out and its a heater. The beat is almost non-existant, even more-so than normally heard with that Ice-Cream truck sounding stuff, but she's spitting pure fire. They oughta lock shorty up for these type of rhymes. Oh wait, they are.
Last Wednesday at Finger Lickin, Benton was played a track from Greg Wilson's new Ruff Edits Vol #1 12" -- when I asked him about the OG, he had no clue.
Some people started hipping me to Soulja Boy's new song as the next new shit song that i'll probably play repeatedly so that some douche stops bothering me.
Not so into it; however, Mr. Superman hopes to repeat his success w/ his new signing, SODMG ('Stacks On Deck Money Gang'). They got a song out called "Whoop Rico".
I don't remember who told me the story; in fact, I don't really remember the story very well, so I'll just go ahead with liberties.
Regardless, OMDL-some-of-the-time-blogger and man-about-asians, Induce, and ex-girlfriend Phi, were on South Beach casually taking an afternoon stroll down Ocean Drive during a past WMC. When, out of the corner of their respective eyes, they spotted someone who they thought was Bjork walking towards them.
"A 500-year-old shipwreck has been found off the coast of southern Africa, laden with tons of copper ingots, elephant tusks, gold coins, and cannons to fend off pirates."
So we stole Navarro and "I still rock mad sweatbands cuz when I dj for a half-hour I . . . " Skribble's bottle during WMC -- but only because he's a total prick and can't take a joke. Trevor "Trouble" Andrew was doing a show on top of this hotel and Mr. Navarro & Skribble were playing right before him.
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